Parents often think about a reward system when teaching kids, aiming to encourage them to behave in the right way. Is reward an effective way to change and encourage their children?
There are many disagreements about the reward system for kids, saying that rewards make them easy to be manipulated and too focused on materials. It is true that we will not be recommended to exacerbate all things done by kids. But using incentives in the right ways can enhance behavior of our children and ameliorate the affection among family members.
Why are rewards necessary to your toddler?
Reasonable rewards will not make your kid become the “slaver” of materials, but encourage them to be better in many ways.
Rewards encourage good behaviors
Reward systems lead your kid to get used to their newly taught behavior, then this behavior will become their habit. When that action is a part of their life, it comes naturally, and no rewards are needed anymore.
Rewards improve self-esteem
When your kids absorb too much of “no”, “stop”, “quit”, “keep silent”, they tend to blame themselves and their naive mental health is negatively impacted. But when being rewarded, kids know that they have done well, and they deserve to be proud of themselves.
Rewards reinforce relationship between parents and kids
It is miserable if kids think about their parents as “arbitrary”, “demanding”, “unapproachable”. It does not mean that you must meet all of their requirements, even unreasonable ones. But rewards for their good stuff is a praise to keep their motivation. Your children must be happy because of their supportive and gentle parents.
8 Strategies For An Effective Rewards System For Toddler
Effective reward systems require strategies, and below are some suggestions for you.
1. Focus on the endeavor of kids
Sometimes your kids have an idea of doing a good thing, but they fail in some first trial. For example, your kid wants to bring you a cup of water, but unfortunately, she slips on the floor and spills all the water over. In this case, instead of making a fuss, you should praise her for her nice thoughts, then instruct her to be more careful next time. Your praise, the reward, makes her believe in that idea, and will try to do better.
2. Avoid delay
You should reward your kids right away when they deserve it. Otherwise, the power of incentives will be lower by time, as kids will think their behavior will not be worth it that much. And even your child will be likely to forget the reasons for that reward.
3. Choose suitable incentives
The rewards can be affordable, but make sure your kid will like it. For instance, it makes no sense if you buy a cooking toy set while your child only loves dolls. And sometimes, instead of being an object, rewards can be praise, 5 extra minutes watching TV, and a short ride around your neighbor.
4. Do not create too many difficulties
Your kids are still naive, so do not challenge them too hard. You should keep the goals very clear and specific for kids to know what to do to gain rewards. It should be very easy at first, then the difficulty will be escalated. Too tricky challenges can even disencourage your kids.
5. Keep calm
If your kids cannot meet your expectations at first, please do not make a fuss. If you do that, both you and your children will be hurt. You should give them some more time to try and make them feel supported. Then, when they finally do well, do not forget the reward.
6. Give praise
When your children behave well, you should not save positive words to let them know that they are doing things the right way. “Thank you”, or “Well-done”, just those simple phrases, are fine enough. But it will be better if you can explain why that behavior is good. They will remember and repeat it.
7. Stay away from bribes
Even in the most desperate situation, a reward should not be used as a bribe. For example, when your kid lies as a protest in the middle of the supermarket and asks for her desired toy set, you should not compromise with a solution: if you purchase that one, she will keep silent. Otherwise, she will understand that kind of behavior is still acceptable.
8. Not reward everything, reward what matter
Finally, if you make use of the reward system abundantly, your kids will be familiar with it. Then you will face situations, like you have your son to do cleaning chores, but he asks for 1 dollar.
The boundary may be very slender. You should select what you want to change, and set the reward system for your kids. Types of rewards should be considered carefully. For example, your kid helping with a table set for dinner deserves praise. It is unnecessary to buy him a toy.
Conclusion
Being parents is never easy. You can not apply the success formulas of others to your kids, as each one is unique. You should know what can trigger their interest and motivation, the frequency and methods of rewards. Using a reward system with a toddler in the right way can enhance their development and the affection among family.
